She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
