i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize