So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
