He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
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