I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
