I accidentally burped into my bong.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
