You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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