If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
His hands were made for my vagina.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
