I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
