now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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