So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
