Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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