Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
