Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Randomize
