So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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