I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize