Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
We have started to decorate penises.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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