the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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