Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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