I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
