This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
