I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Randomize
