Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Randomize
