They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
