you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
