just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
