office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
