does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
