Are we in a gay sports bar?
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
