I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
She even gives head with a lisp.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
