Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
