Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize
