My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Randomize
