I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
nutella sex= disaster
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
