cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
