i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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