Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Randomize
