i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
