It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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