so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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