i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I just found puke in my bra..
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
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