Betty ford says i'm here all night
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize