The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Randomize