You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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