Have you finally orgasmed yet?
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
