I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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