Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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