He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
