Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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