I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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