the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
