So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
