We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
