making cat noises will not fix the situation.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
