What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
