I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I'm both gender and math confused
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
