I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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