for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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