You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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