it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
