How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I would ride that face into the sunset
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
