Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
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