Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I deserve this hangover.
Randomize
