No awkward lesbian experiences without me
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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