nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
