Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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