next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
